Under Morty
by HookahSocialism
Summary: Morty is playing a generic jrpg on his 3DS when Rick shows him the physics of jrpgism can change their lives forever.


Morty is playing some video game on his 3DS. Rick walks by and sees it:

"Whatchu playing there (belch!) Morty?"

"Oh gee Rick...its a jrpg. Its uhh..."

"A jrpg Morty?"

"Yeah Rick.You like...slay monstets and earn XP which improves your stats and capabilities. Eventually you become powerful enough to take on the boss whose always a homosexual and his final form is an angel or Lovecraftian horror."

"Sounds (belch) pretty dumb Morty..."

"Geez Rick, you...youre probably just some call of duty guy bullying people on mic!"

"Thats besides the point Morty...you know if you want XP I can take you around the universe to slay real monsters Morty..."

"Wha...what are you talking about Rick?"

Rick pulls out his portal gun and grabs Morty and they go through it. They're in a musty cave.

"Look over there Morty..."

Itsa two headed bear eating honey from a jar. "BEAR LIKE HONEY!!!"

"Di...did that bear just talk Rick?"

"It has two heads Morty but sure...notice the fact it can talk. That motherfucker stole that honey Morty. You think (belch) you think bears have jobs to buy honey with? He's a thief Morty...now you can be the jrpg hero and slay monsters for XP!"

"Oh geez Rick...im im just a kid y'know? How am I supposed to contend with a two-headed bear?"

"With this Morty..."

Rick hands him a sword.

"Oh geez Rick I...Im not a hero or anything. I just wanna go home Rick. Go home and play my game."

One of the bear heads sees Rick and Morty.

"What are those things?!"

The other head speaks

"They cant have my honey!!!"

"Oh geez Rick..."

The bear runs toward Morty snarling and Morty swings his sword around and deals 15 damage to the two-headed bear.

"Little man hurt me!"

"I will eat this honey in my last breath so this guy cant have it!"

"Jesus Rick. I I feel bad now...that bear. That bear was just a simple minded creature that wanted some damn honey."

"He was a monster Morty. Monstets exist for XP for guys like us. How else are we gonna defeat the boss Morty?"

"Geez Rick you know...this was just a game. Now...now you're having me kill real monsters and Im just a kid! I I shouldnt be having these existential life questions about morality and if I can live with taking the life of another being regardless of its lack of humanity."

"Just kill a bunch of monsters Morty until you're competent enough level to take on the boss!"

Rick and Morty are trapsing through mud and see a sign that says "dont step on grass..."

Rick dances on the grass. "Haha! Fuck you rules and standards! Radical freedom!!!"

"Geez Rick I I dont think a Jean-Paul Satre reference is even appropriate here. You're just...you're just kind of being a dick!"

Morty takes a step wrong and stumbles a bit where one foot steps on the grass and a skeleton bursts out of the bushes.

"NYEH!!! I was waiting for a foolish human to step on the grass so I could honorably spring fourth and attack the naydoer!!!"

"Wait what? A...a naydoer? Rick was dancing...IS dancing on the grass. I dont even know what that dance move is but hes doing it all over your grass!"

"Its (belch) called the worm Morty... comes from a time before you were alive. A better time..."

"Foolish human!!! My sign did not say dont dance on the grass it said dont STEP on the grass! Now I am at liberty to battle you nyehhehHEH!!!"

"Uhoh Morty...looks like this (belch) skeleton is calling you out. You...you gonna take that shit Morty?"

"Geez Rick he's just a silly skeleton why would I..."

"He's out for your blood Morty! The skeleton is jealous hes but bones and wants to wear your flesh!"

"Oh geez Rick!"

"Strike him with your sword Morty! Do it before he wears your skin!!!"

Morty screams and swings at the skeleton lopping off his head and other parts untill he is a pile of bones scattered.

"You are a worthy adversary human! My brother warned me humans would be quite the challenge."

His bones start to turn to dust.

"Oh dear...it appears that I am dying."

The skull turns into a pile of dust. And Morty's sword begins to glow.

"Jesus Rick...what"

"You're higher level Morty! That skeleton must have been worth a lot of XP!"

A shorter skeleton tugs at Rick's coat.

"Yea I...ewwww! A manlet skeleton!"

"Hey..."

"Uhhh hey."

"You killed my brother. Why?"

"Yeah uhhh well see...you all are spooky scary skeletons and my grandson Morty here needed to level so..."

"Do you humans even know what lv means?"

"Yeah how strong you are DUUHHH!"

"Lv is an acronym for love. The higher your lv...the wider the gap your soul is from love. Making it easier and more rewarding to kill each time. All a high lv means is you become a sociopath."

"Like I said (belch) how strong you are...DUHHH"

The short skeletons eyes go black

"I guess I will have to show you the weight of your sins..."

"Oooh cryptic! But actually it wasnt me who killed your mentally handicapped brother. It was Morty..."

"Geez Rick! Way to throw me under the bus!"

"You'll be fine Morty...what the fuck is this midget skeleton gonna do? He even admits to having a low LV. Look im checking his HP now and its 1...one HP Morty! Just fart in his direction and he'll die!"

The sans boss music plays and all of a sudden Rick and Morty find themselves in a dimension of bones and Morty is being slammed into walls of bone, dodging dragon heads shooting lasers at him, etc.

"Oh damn (belch) guess this is one of those secret bosses..."

"Geez Rick help me!"

"Alright alright..."

Rick goes to punch Sans but Sans moves to fast for Rick and continues to throw Morty around telekinetically while dodging Rick's attacks.

"Are you having a bad day Rick Sanchez?"

"I dont care how much of a fan favorite you are...this is Rick and Morty not fucking Sans and Morty! Learn your place!"

Rick uses his portal gun in conjuction with punches and kicks teleporting around Sans but Sans is still too quick for Rick.

"Rick! Do something! All these platforms is making me wanna puke!"

"Im trying Morty but this stupid motherfucker!"

"Geeeetttt dunked on!"

"Wh...what does that even mean Rick?!"

"I dont know Morty but its not as good as wubbalubbadubdub!"

"Oh geez Rick I cant...I cant hold it in anymore."

Morty vomits and it splashes in Sans face. The platforns suddebly stop...the dragonheads pause...and Sans wipes the puke off with his hand.

"Heh...well guess you won the game kid."

Sans begins to turn to a puff of vapor.

"Wow Morty that was (belch) pretty intense huh? But way better than your stupid 3DS version right? I...WO JESUS MORTY!!!"

Rick cringes at Morty's mutilated eye.

"What? What is it?"

"Its uhh... (belch) you got a little squanch on your eye there Morty..."

"Thos...those dragonheads came at me pretty hard Rick. I cant see the damage but I knew my left eye suddenly went dark. Cant we just like...find a potion or something?"

"I aint spending fourteen rubbees on a God damn potion Morty! (belch) Here... this oughtta help."

Rick puts an eyepatch on Morty.

"How...how does this help Rick?"

"It helps me look at your mangled face HAHA WUBBALUBBADUBDUUUUB!!!! But no seriously... your face is pretty fucked up and I think thats stat damage not HP damage. I...I dont even know which stat those dragonheads hit to get you an appropriate potion Morty."

"Its fine Rick...Ill just have to level higher to makeup for the partial blindbess."

"Thats the spirit Morty!"

Morty mutters under his breath.

"Im gonna kill you in your sleep, go up like ten levels, than I'LL be the boss..."

"What was that Morty?"

"Nothing Rick. Just foreshadowing."


End file.
